Monday, October 8, 2012

Calling for help

We have a 24 hour emergency Alzheimers nurse available. I've just had to call for help. Mum has been berserk this afternoon and tonight. She had to see the geriatrician and I think it unhinged her. She was already tired from being at Day Care and we didn't get home until 7.30 p.m. Getting her into the shower was a nightmare. She kept running out of the bathroom shouting "I want my cat! I'm not going in there until I see my cat inside!" The cats sleep OUTSIDE on the veranda. Bringing one in doesn't help - it just makes her more silly, because they're all terrified of her and run away. Then she believes they must be 'sick' and must be caught and taken to the vet. 

After her shower, she started running through the house looking for cats and shaking the doors trying to get out. I sticky-taped all the light switches so she couldn't turn on lights. That sometimes keeps her in her bedroom, but not tonight. She managed to find her way around, throwing a basket of clean washing all over the place (deliberately) and pulling pictures and crucifixes off the walls and curtains off the windows. She threw everything she could find on the floor.

After that she said she could see lights in the back yard, and there were people down there creeping around. Next she believed all the doors were open and she couldn't shut them. These people could get in. By this time I'd locked myself in my bedroom and turned up the music so I couldn't hear her rantings.

I've just had enough tonight. I'm sick and exhausted. I can't take another second of this and I'm looking forward to help arriving. 

I will kill myself before I will agree to go insane before I die, I really will.

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