I took her to see her best friend down the coast two weeks back. The friend turns 90 soon and has few signs of deterioration; she still plays tennis. Mum had a nice chat to her but wanted to leave after half an hour. She just kept getting up out of her chair and saying, "Well, I have to go now, it's getting late." The friend was disappointed but understanding.
On the way to the doctor yesterday she said, "What are the names? I suppose I've forgotten them all by now."
This was a rare moment of recognition of her disease.
I knew right away that she meant names of family members, so I went through them for her. You have a son, *******, I am *******, your grandchildren are.......
She was happy to hear their names and recalled them. She remembered some things. "Patrick is very tall." "******** goes to university."
I just feel so sad about it now. Before, she was behaving so badly I didn't even like her for a long time. You can't forget the terrible things they say - "I hate you" "Get out" "You're not my daughter any more" - but now all she says is "I love you so much and I'm so glad to see you." What a change.
Mum on the right in about 1940
Mum in November, still beautiful
With dear Father Leo Stevens when she was 60 years old
I am caring for my mother also, i understand wanting to go home even though she really wants to go back to her childhood home. Take care
ReplyDeleteShe just can't sit still and visit anyone any more - even one person at a time. She wants to get out of there.
DeleteHi Louise
ReplyDeleteFunny isn't it that as things change and they get quieter we really miss the things that used to annoy us.
Yes, she's quiet in a very sad way. She has no life left in her. She's also getting more tired which isn't like her - she's always been so lively.
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ReplyDeleteI wrote a poem about the stages and transition - too long to post as a comment. I wrote it before my mom died. I guess I never posted because she never arrived to where the end of my poem took me.
ReplyDeleteMy brother also made an analogy of what dementia and Alzheimer's could be. You can read about it here: http://gayldsactor.blogspot.com/2013/07/dementia-epiphany.html. We have gone through a lot of transitions.
Hope you may find comfort in other blog posts. I know it's hard. And you have it harder than we did.
Thank you so much for your reply. It says the page doesn't exist any more. And congratulations on coming out as a gay Mormon. Very courageous.
DeleteMy mother had a brain scan five days ago. They strongly suspect she has Alzheimers but needed to scan for a concrete diagnosis. Her doctor phoned me yesterday - he wants to me see us tomorrow at 9. I don't really know what to do. ive lost all hope i know life is going to change very very fast soon... i'm readjing of your dear mother and crying. my mum doesnat deserve this. noone does . i dont know why im commenting, i guess i'm just trying to relate with somebody - someone who perhaps knows what i'm going through.
ReplyDeletePlease check out the Alzheimers Reading Room by Bob de Marco. You will find heaps of help and support there. http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/
DeleteThis is my comment from a few years ago. I am 22. my mother is 56.
DeleteShe was in fact diagnosed with Alz. Early onset which may be familial.
Zack my old friend how I wish I could meet you and hug you and tell you it will be ok. But I can't. Because it won't be ok. Because life will make you cold and dull until you won't remember who you were.
How care free are your days Zack. How happy is you life. I wish to meet you again old friend - I wish I was you again Zack, and life was full of colour and hope.
Perhaps one day. But not tomorrow.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI hope one day people will be benefited from the studies carried on over Dementia and Alzheimer's disease. Till then, we have to take preventive measures.
ReplyDeleteWarm Regards,
Mantis Hugo
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