I decided to move Mum out of the nursing home. There was nothing wrong with it - she was just too bored there. She likes to do many things that people in nursing homes mostly can't do, like walking for miles, hanging out washing and playing with the cats.
I had a horrible day thinking about it. I left it until late afternoon. I wondered if I would be a failure. I wondered if I should just jump off a bridge if it didn't work out. I wondered if she'd be as horrible as she was when she was in her own house and maybe even kill me by pushing me down the steps like she did in the past.
I wondered how I would avoid shouting or getting angry. I thought I must be mad to be doing this.
Nursing care should be organized within two weeks. This is because the government assistance is already activated from last time she had help.
After being terrified all day, it wasn't as bad as I expected. She's now in bed with one of the younger cats that can stay inside without making a mess. She finally accepted that her old cat can't come inside.
I have got very irritated through the afternoon but just kept firmly answering that the cats are fed at 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. and never at any other time and if I keep that up, maybe it will sink in that I am not going to hand over the cat food to her.
Mum at a wedding in November 2011.
On holiday in Echuca, Victoria
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answers to repeated questions will drive you batty because they forget as soon as the words leave your mouth. I wrote the schedule and hung it on the wall to point to after a while- she would huff and look at it.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing I do is 'answer' a question before she asks it, gives me more control and her peace.
That's a good idea, to answer a question before she asks it. Yes, these constant questions do drive you nuts. She did a lot of that today. If Mum had good enough eyesight to read, I could put a sign on the back door that says, "Have your breakfast and don't wake Louise up. The cats don't need feeding." If she could read that, she'd probably settle down. Three or four years ago before her sight got very bad, leaving notes around the house worked well.
ReplyDeleteYou have to extend your patience towards the elderly. They have poor eyesight and poor hearing. That is why they need constant care. It's as if they have reverted back to their infancy, which makes them a subject of our deep affection.
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