Thursday, September 9, 2010

Things are getting worse.....

A few weeks ago - or was it a few months? - Mum stopped being able to recall what day it is. She takes vitamins - no pharmaceutical medicines - and I got her one of those plastic pill boxes with the days of the week on it. I also bought her a little red box that has a button that you press and it says, "It's Thursday, 9th September, 2010 and it's just past three o'clock." This came from the Blind Society. It's been a huge help and has prevented many a phone call to me to ask what day it is. It cost around $200, but it's worth every cent.

The last few days, though, I've noticed she no longer knows what month it is. She'll start talking about something she recalls such as the birthday of her brother and she'll say "I was thinking about him because his birthday is coming up this month." Her brother's birthday was in February. This is September.

Quite often, she'll be out shopping and say, "I want to buy something for Loretta for her birthday. I'll have to send it soon or it won't get there on time." Her birthday is in May. And this is September.

I've learnt from the marvellous Alzheimers Reading Room not to contradict her when she gets the month mixed up. I just agree with her and change the subject. That way I don't offend her or make her frightened that she's 'losing it'.

Having the box that tells you what day it is doesn't help with the cat food. I put out the cat food for each day, label it and leave it in an obvious place on the kitchen cupboard.

Every day when I go to her house, that day's cat food is untouched, but she has walked down to the shops and purchased as many tins of cat food as she can carry and carted them home. The cat food she bought has been opened, sometimes nine or ten cans of it, and left all over the place. There'll be bowls of cat food in the bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, dining room and laundry. There'll be opened cans in the cupboard which have to be thrown out and more open cans in the fridge.

If I have to go to work, I'll get calls in the mornings, "There's no cat food in the house!" I'll tell her to walk to the kitchen with her mobile phone. I'll say, "Look right in front of you now. Reach out your hand. The cat food for today is right there on the cupboard."

She can't see it. It's not an eyesight problem, her sight is bad, but she can see a can of cat food. She could also reach out and feel for it, but she won't do that. She won't try. In her mind, I am trying to kill the cat by starving it to death.

If I'm not working, I go over there and feed the cat. But if I am at work and she can't or won't try and find today's cat food, there is nothing I can do to stop her going to the shops and getting more, then opening all the cans she has bought in one day.

I really don't know what I am going to do about this. It would be better if I brought the cat to my house, but she would be too upset.

If anyone has suggestions I'd appreciate hearing them.

24 comments:

  1. Out of curiosity why isn't your mother taking standard meds for Alzheimer's patients? That might help with the cat food situation. I was told that based on my husband's MRI he shouldn't be dressing himself now, but he does because of the Namenda and Exelon he has been taking. I am there to supervise his morning and evening pills, but like you I am not there all the time. One day I will have to be.

    My husband uses a calendar and crosses out the days as they go. Recently I got a bigger calendar from FlyLady so I can write more on it for him. He also has a watch that tells him the month and day.

    I am glad you can use this blog for therapy. We all need to write these experiences down I think.

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  2. It must be so difficult for you to care for your mother and not knowing what's going on with her part of the time.

    Your right about not arguing or contradicting your mom. I've learned this with David; if I argue, he gets very upset, and it's not worth it.

    Thinking of you...

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  3. It is just an awful situation and there really isn't any good answer. I took my Mum to the supermarket today and she wanted to buy all this stuff like she was cooking for seven again, I had to keep putting stuff back but relented on a couple of things to which she then accused me of putting them in her trolley without her knowledge when we unpacked the stuff at her home. It is so terribly pathetic, you are there helping them and then you get treated like some sort of evil spawn and I have to keep reminding myself IT IS THE DISEASE! For self preservation, I have to go and do something I really enjoy, mobile switched off and forget about it, don't talk about it unless you are with someone who has been through it and understands because until you go through it with a close family member you have NO IDEA what it's like. Chin up girl, you are not alone!

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  4. Thank you for your replies, girls. I have felt so down I haven't felt like writing anything. Things are getting steadily worse and the stress is terrible. As to why she isn't on the standard medications for Alzheimers, firstly, I haven't been able to find any doctor willing to say that she has Alzheimers. As you know, it can only be positively identified after death if there is an autopsy. Apparently these medications are not 'standard' for suspected Alzheimers here in Australia. And it can only ever be 'suspected' Alzheimers as there is no test for it. The one specialist I approached told me the side effects are 'far too dangerous and risky' particularly for someone like my mother who has chronic renal disease and blood disorders. I have some Valium for her to take occasionally when she's extremely agitated and this works well, as does a shot of medicinal brandy at night when things are bad. If you check out the info from the drug company itself regarding Namenda it is fairly scary:
    Namenda may cause some side effects. Some of the milder side effects may include joint pain, weight loss, anxiety, rapid heartbeat, nausea, vomiting, swelling of the hands or feet, weakness, dizziness, fatigue, swelling around the eyes, frequent urination, aggression, constipation, diarrhea, loss of appetite and being easy to bruise or bleed. (THESE ARE CONSIDERED MILD?!?) Some of the more serious side effects may include hallucinations, seizures, confusion, sudden numbness, chest tightness, problems breathing, fever, fainting, blurred vision, lack of coordination and less-frequent urination.
    I am desperate enough that I would allow a doctor to prescribe these things at this stage but the fact is, they won't. There is a lot of suspicion in Australia that these drugs can kill people.
    Mum has never taken pharmaceutical drugs. She's always been opposed to them. My own view is they're mostly poisonous to the system. I know if she was in her right state of mind, she'd say no to Namenda.

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  5. Thank you for your replies, girls. I have felt so down I haven't felt like writing anything. Things are getting steadily worse and the stress is terrible. I'll address why she's not on medications for Alzheimers in a new post.

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